Concert Etiquette

Wilco came to New York recently. America’s best band, led by our generations’ greatest songwriter (Jeff Tweedy) blessed me with four wonderful nights. While I dance and sang and sweated like a drummer, I left with just one request. It’s a simple one at that. Can everyone at the concert please behave in the exact same way I do? By that I mean it’s okay to dance and sing and whoop it up like a truly dedicated fan. But it’s not okay to impede on the concert experience of your show neighbors.

 

I’m talking to you, guy who’s piecing and constant “whoos” were more damaging to my ears than the screaming guitar solos. Then there was Mr. Obnoxious, who thought that singing along LOUDLY during quieter songs was a good idea. BTW, singing the wrong words. (For future reference, next time you are in the front row of Wilco concert, the first verse of Jesus, Etc., it’s “You can combine . . .”, not “come by…”.)

So, if you want to sit and contemplate to music, or shake your thang, here are some suggestions I have to ensure that all people can have a great time. As the great Jeff Tweedy said, “It’s not just you. You are part of a group of people in a really beautiful way. It’s wonderful.”

Let’s keep it wonderful, folks!

1. NO TALKING! I’ve not enough time or space to go on about talkers; suffice to say that I believe there is a special place in Hell for anyone who bought concert tickets but spends the entire time deep in conversation. For all on you talkers out there, I’ve one thing to say: I PAID TO HEAR JEFF TWEEDY SING, NOT YOU COMPLAIN ABIOUT YOUR SISTER-IN-LAW!!!
2. Make friends! Friends make the long wait on line fun and interesting. Friends save your spot in the front row that you braved hours in the boiling sun, soaking rain, or freezing cold for when you need a drink, snack, or pottie
3. If you want to get in the front at a General Admission show, get on line early with the rest of the diehards, the folks who braved hours in the boiling sun, soaking rain, or freezing cold. I don’t care if your sweet gray-haired grandma is in the front row, just don’t do it. And just because your boobs are big and shirt is low, does not mean entitlement for the front. You have to work or pay for it.
4. Respect personal space. Feel free to dance and bop at will, I do. But no one wants you mashing up against them or stepping on their toes. Try what I do: I don’t move my feet. I bounce in place. A bonus — this is a great upper thigh and ass work out. If I had two or three shows a week, my ass would be rockin’!
5. Respect the opening act. They are well aware that we can’t wait for them to end, but if the bands we love like them enough to have them open they deserve our attention.

Those are my thoughts. Discuss.